All-new geek quotes, modified to celebrate the new forum - (Jan/26/2009 )
Tim: Why not take her some Tool Time tapes?
Home Improvement
but we're the most harmless and law-abiding audience... 
Bernie Nolan: So, what exciting D.I.Y you're going to demonstrate for us today?
On The Waterfront
sure, sure...you've got your GMed tomatoes ready for pelting...
....
Tim: Wow, he's coming after those teens with a McCulloch 10-10S chainsaw; a damn fine choice. Nice job, ghoul!
Home Improvement
yes and especially juicy when hitting you...
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
New Nightmare
but that would harm my beautiful and creative paper towel dress and you call yourself a harmless audience ppffttt....
Inspector Grandpierre: We use the guillotine in this country. I have always imagined that the blade, coming down, causes no more than a slight tickling sensation on the back of the neck. It is only a guess, of course. I hope none of you ever finds out for certain.
Charade
well you suggested it... and a mean audience would use century eggs... 
Commander William T. Riker: Let me get this straight. You want me to take off your head?
Star Trek:TNG
boiled or raw? ....either way, they'd hurt....how barbaric....
John Blackwolf: I seriously doubt it. The tortur and mutilation you see here are very confused imitations of warfares practised by Native American tribes.
Criminal Minds
depends what you prefer... 
Spike: From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual... and a little more fun around here.
Buffy TVS
then how about some diamonds or gold coins? those would be perfect... ..
Dick Casablancas: I know. Party ritual.
V. Mars
a compromise: glass pearls and semi-precious stones
Charlie Walker: Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
Scream 4
ppfftt...as usual, a cheap audience....it would probably be a rain of popcorn and candy wrappers...