All-new geek quotes, modified to celebrate the new forum - (Jan/26/2009 )
Captain Jack Harkness: This new regeneration, it's kinda cheeky.
Doctor When
but I want to sell the ivory tower with it inside (to increase the value) and not play with it nor be it's guinea pig.....
...
there- happy now? 
Alan: Do you gotta flatline to get a little help around here? Do you gotta move to Canada to get some decent medical care?
Two and a half men
impossible, as trading with ivory is prohibited... 
they'll sue you for that and you'll lose all the expensive cars and crook-butlers
btw you forgot the film title 
Director X: I mean, there are some things that are fun to believe in. There's the sasquatch for the people of the upper northwest, there's Jackalopes for people in that... square state, uh, there's medicare and affordable housing for the people of Florida... you know, it's fun things to believe in, but I don't necessarily think they're there.
Stagbunny
as long as the ivory doesn't cross borders, it's allowed...so I only need to sell it over there...with the help of my ever-trusted butler of course 
...and I fixed the omission...ppfftt....
Barney Stinson: You poor thing. Having to grow up in Canada, with America right there.
How i met your mother
but I only rented it...no chance anyway...but perhaps the butler can carve one for you made of wapiti teeth
Robin Scherbatsky: Make fun of the Great White North all you want, but Canada is the greatest country in the world.
How I Met Your Mother
but why my butler? aren't we extorting money from you? You shld be the one to carve me a totem pole........
Biker #2: All swelled up with patriotic feeling and ready to be humped like a frog.
Brokeback Mountain
extorting is the right word...you and your butler...organised crime
Spectator #1: Outrageous! How dare he say such blasphemy! I've got to do something!
Family Guy
what crime? But we're the rightful owners so you can't prosecute us for it...ppffttt...
The Doctor: Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?
Dr Who
convince harmless people to draw cheques, to claim to own stuff that belongs to others, try to kidnap spidey...a long list... and not to forget to engage professional crooks like "the butler"
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.
House MD
but...but...but those are not crimes against humanity and a spider...just teensy weensy misdemeanors to make me happy...don't you wanna see me, the best person you've ever known, happy? 
and you better leave my honourable buttler alone....
Homer Simpson: I really shouldn't pass judgment until I see a fictional TV show espousing your point of view.
The Simpsons
but crimes against me or better attempts I could until now successfully parry misdemeanors is an euphemism again