All-new geek quotes, modified to celebrate the new forum - (Jan/26/2009 )

Wife: There's a bottle of wine in the fridge. Or I can hit you over the head with a 2X4. That's all I've got to offer.

Expectation

Barney Stinson: There is nothing in the rules that says I have to be subjected to this kind of psychological torture. You can slap my face, but you cannot slap my mind!


How I Met Your Mother

Angel: Tell you what, I'll torture you for two unbelievably long hours, and then you can decide if this is the lifestyle you want.

Angel
...

Willow Rosenberg: When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me or to lock me in some mystical dungeon for all eternity or... with the torture. Instead, you go all Dumbledore on me.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Detective: I respect a man that's good at what he does. I'll tell you something, I'm very good at what I do.

The Driver

Lenore: Scaramouche is a fool, a genius, a ne'er-do-well, a saint; fickle, adoring, false and true together; woman's enemy, and the one thing she can't do without: a man!


Scaramouche

Sam Lowry: I only know you got the wrong man.

Brazil

Alvy Burke: I don't make mistakes. I'll tell you how I avoid 'em - I look into that head of yours and I ride the wheels. You gotta pretty good reputation in these parts because you think like a criminal, huh? You see, it never occurred to you a criminal could think like a lawman.


The Deputy

James Whistler: I suppose you were married to the job, drank too much, rabid insomniac. Typical lawman.

Prison Break

Big Bird: Not rabid, boss, but they are *very* annoyed.


Life on Mars