All-new geek quotes, modified to celebrate the new forum - (Jan/26/2009 )

Lt. Cmdr. Data: An android, a clone, and a Ferengi walk into a bar...

Star Trek: The Next Generation
..

Rimmer: That was a bar-room brawl. That was a common pub fight, a shambolic, drunken set-to.

Red Dwarf

A. non: An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says "What is this, some kind of sick joke?"


Swanny's massive compendium of bad and dad jokes... (unpubl.)

Dr. Gregory House: Spoken like a true Aussie.

House M.D.

Random Australian: Oh, yeah?

A. Non. (Note the expansive vocabulary...)

Ok, a proper quote:

Bruce:
This here's the wattle,
The symbol of our land.
You can stick in a bottle,
You can hold it in your hand. Amen.

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: It's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring.


Futurama

...it sure beats the wattle, swanny....(and just think of all the poor wattle-less animals ...)

Corliss Archer: Yes. You should see what it says on the bottle. It says it will turn a man into a raging lion, a tiger... a cave man!

Meet Corliss Archer

Cassandra (in Rose's body): Wake up and smell the perfume! <sprays a puff from her perfume bottle into the Doctor's face; he immediately passes out>

Doctor Who
...yup, a raging tiger-lion...

Giles: Yes! It's all about subterfuge. That's very annoying. Now, go on out there, lie like dogs and have a wonderful time.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Doctor: You know, your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity in trying to destroy itself.

Doctor Who
...