All-new geek quotes, modified to celebrate the new forum - (Jan/26/2009 )
Emma Valentine: What do you demand of a woman, intelligence or beauty?
Jim West: Beauty if they are intelligent, and intelligence if they are beautiful.
The Wild Wild West
(now that's really cruel....
...)
Lieutenant Starbuck: Well, I always wanted to meet a woman as long on brains as she was on beauty.
Battlestar Galactica
Mr. Butlertron: Are you A: handsome; B: smart; C: scrap metal; or D: all of the above?
Clone High
...
Guido: And above all because I don't feel like telling another pile of lies.
8½
and now, another classic:
Dr. Zoidberg: Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies.
Futurama
Bob Chinn: John had this compulsive, tendency to lie all the time. He loved lying. Tall tales, white lies, you name it. He would go on lying about stuff even after you knew he was lying, and he would still go on lying after he knew that you knew he was lying.
Wadd: The Life & Times of John C. Holmes
Chief Inspector Morse: I've never heard so many lies. It was like sitting through an election campaign.
Inspector Morse
Rommie: I've learned a lot from watching my organics. The little lies they tell to paper over ugly truths, saying anything to avoid saying something that makes them feel vulnerable and exposed. I've learned something about AIs, too - we're every bit as guilty.
Andromeda
Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea.
No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home.
But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma.
You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know.
He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.
Red Dwarf
Ernie Capadino: Apparently learning to wear shoes has made them irritable.
A League of Their Own