I think, therefore, I joke - I joke, therefore, you better laugh (Jan/30/2009 )

G.W. Bush gets a phone call one morning from his general on the battlefield, he says "sorry to inform you sir, but we lost 3 Brazilian soldiers on the battle field today. Overcome with emotion, Bush places his head in his hands and sighs. He is returns to the phone and asks the general: "Exactly how many is a Brazilian?"

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story.

“On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound of the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this.”

“Ordinarily,” Dr. Mills continued, “a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands.

“The room on the ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Opus.

“When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

“The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.”

There was an exquisite twist. “Further investigation revealed that the son had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.

“The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.”

Very nice! Karma I guess?

...it looks like a story I'd have written....so the old man was charged with nothing? at the very least- pre-suicide possession of an unloaded, non-deadly weapon..... that shld simply things...

Funny But it sounds familiar, wasn't there a movie or detective story about this?

before finding this in the net, I read this in my forensic book . . humor section.

Nabi on Aug 14 2009, 04:45 PM said:

they make movie of everything.. . . why don't they make movies instead of publishing the papers? Would be so much better.

Phiolosophy . .

You're Canadian if:
You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking
You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around
You know what a tuque (toque?) is
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway
You drive on a highway, not a freeway
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
You drink pop, not soda
You love your fries with poutine
You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom
Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize
You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
"Eh" is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of "eh", eh?


more here :

1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
•2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• 3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
•4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
•5. Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you're late for work because you had a flat tire,
the next morning you will have a flat tire.
• 6. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• 7. Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
(Thisalso rings true of sitting on the can)
•8. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• 9. Law ofthe Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
•10. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
•11. Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
•12. The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they'll have adjacent lockers.
•14. Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering
are directly correlated to the newness and cost of thecarpet/rug.
•15. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
•16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
• 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet
.• 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
• 19. Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll feel better.
Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. ain't it the truth !!!

Nabi on Aug 18 2009, 09:03 AM said:

casandra on Aug 18 2009, 09:38 PM said:

thanks BB for reminding me that I am not soo Canadian.....what's that word again....Sa..se..si..Sze...chuan....isn't that a province in China where they eat spicy foods?
And when the temperature climbs up to 0 degree, I never say "It's pretty nice and warm today, EH?" And I don't like Hockey......and I never apologise esp if I step on another's foot intentionally....and I don't munch timbits....nor drink beer.....nah....and the only screwdriver I know is the one I can drink....and I seldom watch american TV.....such a failure for a canadian, eh.............