Why are lab people so quick to think other people are slow or stupid? - (Sep/10/2008 )
These past two weeks have been horrible. Normally I dont let myself get down or frustrated but I really feel like things are getting worse and worse, my boss not being around ever, me helping out with someone elses project while she applies for postdoc positions, gets married and goes on holiday,no one to talk to, no one I really like in the lab, no clue where most things are so I have to ask and look like an idiot most of the time.
Everyone complains about the boss and says shes socially incompetent, no one is really in charge of me, no one really knew I was coming, only one person is helpful when it comes to telling me how I can get my own pippette or vaccuum system or enzymes.
I got here when she is about to leave and her project is kind of being dumped on me and it doesnt seem like she has much interest in anything to do wiht it because her name will go on it neways. I wonder who is going to do the revision experiments and when ill start my project.
I seem to walk around in a cloud of sadness nowadays, she told me to do a western blot and when I told her I hadnt done any during my diploma thesis she looked at me a bit exasperated. I told her I had seen it done once or twice but we had ready made gels and modern looking chambers so yeah she was going to have to tell me how to build the chamber with those clips that they use, show me were the buffers are and loading dyes and how they stain, were the whatman paper was and were......even how they friggin scan the damn gel because sorry I have no idea where ANYTHING is .
THe same thing happened yesterday, ive been trying to clone siRNA of her protein for 3 weeks now and today we did nuclear extracts, for which I needed NaCl, KCl, Hepes,glycerol,triton, etc. She actually seemed surprised that I didnt have these things which I didnt understand, ive been cloning I havent needed to use any of these things yet.
She cant really just tell me to go do it when I dont even know where the pHmeter is, i mean isnt it normal that I ask her where it is and how to use it, where the calibration solutions are etc etc.
Since she helped me so much today, I timidly asked her if maybe she could help me get a vacuum pump for my place and a pippette boy, shes the only one friendly enough I felt comfortable asking, any one else kind of looks at me like what you dont know?
I feel like such a loser, im sad and i want to go home and I miss the old lab.
Im very aware of the fact that I didnt do a lot of methods during my thesis, when I first started there was no way of knowing that I wouldnt see a westernblot during the whole thesis. All I did were ill-supervised cell culture experiments and a ChIP-chip that worked mostly due to the standadized protocol. I got cool results and I was grateful and happy but Im starting to see my shortcomings and i think people here in lab are very quick to tag you as slow or stupid.
Ive been getting you-are-stupid looks since I got here.
Oh and I dont understand her english hahaha its like shell say something and i have no idea what the hell shes talking about, she has a french accent and her grammar isnt very good, no ones is in fact which is fine when they talk amongst each other but my ear isnt used to it, they speak german with an accent i dont understand because i come from northern germany and they speak incorrect english with strange accents.
I always ask her to repeat what shes said or I just nod but I didnt really get it.
And no its not because me english isnt good enough or im slow at picking up accents, I speak spanish, german and english fluently, it really is her and theres nothing I can do about it, i pretend I understand because I dont want to seem arrogant or hurt her feelings. Today we were looking at the extracted nuclei and she said they had to look like bowls and I was like what? Not wanting to seem extremely stupid I thought about it for a minute but it didnt make sense so I was like as in cornflake bowls or something? And then she said no circle........ball? And then I said Oh ball? And she said yes bowl. And I looked at her and said no its not bowl its ballllllllllllll. It was no use but at least I knew that I was looking at the right kind of nuclei. If I hadnt asked I would have been googling bowl in molecular biology.
Ahhhhhhhhh hahaha no wonder im depressed the one person that helps me out a lot and is nice to me I dont understand. She explained the elisa reader to me today and I have no idea what she said..........no friggin clue hahahaha. And to makes things worse I think she thinks I have her repeat things because im slow hahaha
Bowl and Ball .. . 
I have no complaints that I can make but it is kind of weird.. can't help mentioning to U height of confusion .. .
He said : ''Let's go wake up cells'' 
I had no idea when the cells went to sleep 
I think you will get used to her accent after a few months.
I got a similar situation: my previous mentor speaks poor English and I speaks poor Mandarin.
We could only communicate with each other in English... and I had to guess what he meant all the time.
I wish my Mandarin is fluent, so he would be proud of me. 
She is nice and patience to show you how to do the experiments. Some PIs aren't willing to teach.
In research, you may encounter some people whose spoken English are very poor. But, they are good researcher.
Everyone complains about the boss and says shes socially incompetent, no one is really in charge of me, no one really knew I was coming, only one person is helpful when it comes to telling me how I can get my own pippette or vaccuum system or enzymes.
I got here when she is about to leave and her project is kind of being dumped on me and it doesnt seem like she has much interest in anything to do wiht it because her name will go on it neways. I wonder who is going to do the revision experiments and when ill start my project.
I seem to walk around in a cloud of sadness nowadays, she told me to do a western blot and when I told her I hadnt done any during my diploma thesis she looked at me a bit exasperated. I told her I had seen it done once or twice but we had ready made gels and modern looking chambers so yeah she was going to have to tell me how to build the chamber with those clips that they use, show me were the buffers are and loading dyes and how they stain, were the whatman paper was and were......even how they friggin scan the damn gel because sorry I have no idea where ANYTHING is .
THe same thing happened yesterday, ive been trying to clone siRNA of her protein for 3 weeks now and today we did nuclear extracts, for which I needed NaCl, KCl, Hepes,glycerol,triton, etc. She actually seemed surprised that I didnt have these things which I didnt understand, ive been cloning I havent needed to use any of these things yet.
She cant really just tell me to go do it when I dont even know where the pHmeter is, i mean isnt it normal that I ask her where it is and how to use it, where the calibration solutions are etc etc.
Since she helped me so much today, I timidly asked her if maybe she could help me get a vacuum pump for my place and a pippette boy, shes the only one friendly enough I felt comfortable asking, any one else kind of looks at me like what you dont know?
I feel like such a loser, im sad and i want to go home and I miss the old lab.
Im very aware of the fact that I didnt do a lot of methods during my thesis, when I first started there was no way of knowing that I wouldnt see a westernblot during the whole thesis. All I did were ill-supervised cell culture experiments and a ChIP-chip that worked mostly due to the standadized protocol. I got cool results and I was grateful and happy but Im starting to see my shortcomings and i think people here in lab are very quick to tag you as slow or stupid.
Ive been getting you-are-stupid looks since I got here.
Oh and I dont understand her english hahaha its like shell say something and i have no idea what the hell shes talking about, she has a french accent and her grammar isnt very good, no ones is in fact which is fine when they talk amongst each other but my ear isnt used to it, they speak german with an accent i dont understand because i come from northern germany and they speak incorrect english with strange accents.
I always ask her to repeat what shes said or I just nod but I didnt really get it.
And no its not because me english isnt good enough or im slow at picking up accents, I speak spanish, german and english fluently, it really is her and theres nothing I can do about it, i pretend I understand because I dont want to seem arrogant or hurt her feelings. Today we were looking at the extracted nuclei and she said they had to look like bowls and I was like what? Not wanting to seem extremely stupid I thought about it for a minute but it didnt make sense so I was like as in cornflake bowls or something? And then she said no circle........ball? And then I said Oh ball? And she said yes bowl. And I looked at her and said no its not bowl its ballllllllllllll. It was no use but at least I knew that I was looking at the right kind of nuclei. If I hadnt asked I would have been googling bowl in molecular biology.
Ahhhhhhhhh hahaha no wonder im depressed the one person that helps me out a lot and is nice to me I dont understand. She explained the elisa reader to me today and I have no idea what she said..........no friggin clue hahahaha. And to makes things worse I think she thinks I have her repeat things because im slow hahaha
Hi nanu nana,
I've read some of your posts and I must say that this is by far the longest and saddest one
. Btw, welcome to the forum, it's a one-stop shop for solving all of your tech problems, people issues, even love and relationship woes. You write it, we read it and hopefully, we will all feel better in the end. 
Once or twice, you get real wise advice but oftentimes, we're here to give you support or a shoulder to cry on or sometmes, a whack in the head (if you're really lucky) or even a shout and a heckle here and there.Would you believe me if I say that it will get better....nope... I don't believe that either
, I think, it's only gonna get worse especially if you allow the others to break your spirit. So you have to psych yourself up girl....you don't have much control over the thoughts and feelings esp that of apathy or nastiness of other people but you have control over yours (and in three major languages no doubt). You just have to show them or better prove to them that you're not slow and stupid...just a beginner who needs a little bit more patience and guidance. We all start from the same place anyhow. If this didn't cheer you up....you can release all your pent-up frustrations and anger on me 
(no worries, I have full control over my thoughts and feelings).- casandra
ps
as an aside, your display name- is it german?
(no worries, I have full control over my thoughts and feelings). will that help?= not sure. . . but join bioforum group at last.fm and there will be miracles.
I am keeping my head high today and doing my buffers. You guys are right I have to get a grip and get through this newby phase. I guess the fact that I just moved here and have no friends and no real appartment yet also influences my mood. I took a bus home yesterday at 20 and I got lost hehe and then I came home to my temporary room where I have some clothes and documents and I guess I woke up tired because I was kinda cold during the night and I only had one blanket so I couldnt sleep properly.
But all this will change in a couple of months AND if I make it through new people will come next year and they will be new and wanting to connect to other lab people too so i will be the next generation PhD in the lab.
Its very easy to feel small and unwanted in this kind of environment, but by what I hear from the others no one hear is really off the hook when it comes to others criticising them, whether its how long they stay or how they do their gels or anything.
But its nice to know that some of these people here in the forum that know so much might not have always been this confident in what they know.
But all this will change in a couple of months AND if I make it through new people will come next year and they will be new and wanting to connect to other lab people too so i will be the next generation PhD in the lab.
Its very easy to feel small and unwanted in this kind of environment, but by what I hear from the others no one hear is really off the hook when it comes to others criticising them, whether its how long they stay or how they do their gels or anything.
But its nice to know that some of these people here in the forum that know so much might not have always been this confident in what they know.
Hey,
I’m glad you’re feeling better and that cloud has finally lifted. Keep plodding, keep chipping away...usually perseverance pays off. If you ask and they give you the look, the raised brow or the rolling eyes-don’t become fazed by this. (I’d give them the cross-eyes myself
- but you OTOH shld smile and stay calm and cos nobody likes a grouch esp a newbie grouch). Probably, the other people in your lab would help you if they could but you have to understand that they are also busy or totally immersed in their own worries and projects and since you were not officially foisted on them, then they wouldn’t consider you as their responsibility. I think it’s more the fault of the PI but I like I said almost everyone goes through this phase and some even have to walk thru burning coals just to find a pipette.
But if you keep asking the right questions and showing them your keen interest, read the stuff that they ask you to, display your initiative and drive or should I say potential, then in a few weeks they would upgrade you to: still a little slow but not stupid. After a few more weeks, you’ll get the hang of things (the lab plus the language and bus issues), and they see that you learn fast, you’ll climb another notch to: not slow and definitely not stupid. And once you’ve settled down and start moving along with your projects and objectives, then they’d all be saying: how the heck have we ever thought that she’s slow and stupid or better: she's one of us now
? And once you’re really up there- experiments working, PI is happy, colleagues are envious and a newbie comes along, I hope that you come back to bioforum and read that very sad piece you wrote above and be reminded....anyhow, goodluck...casandra
But all this will change in a couple of months AND if I make it through new people will come next year and they will be new and wanting to connect to other lab people too so i will be the next generation PhD in the lab.
Its very easy to feel small and unwanted in this kind of environment, but by what I hear from the others no one hear is really off the hook when it comes to others criticising them, whether its how long they stay or how they do their gels or anything.
But its nice to know that some of these people here in the forum that know so much might not have always been this confident in what they know.
Hey,
I’m glad you’re feeling better and that cloud has finally lifted. Keep plodding, keep chipping away...usually perseverance pays off. If you ask and they give you the look, the raised brow or the rolling eyes-don’t become fazed by this. (I’d give them the cross-eyes myself
- but you OTOH shld smile and stay calm and cos nobody likes a grouch esp a newbie grouch). Probably, the other people in your lab would help you if they could but you have to understand that they are also busy or totally immersed in their own worries and projects and since you were not officially foisted on them, then they wouldn’t consider you as their responsibility. I think it’s more the fault of the PI but I like I said almost everyone goes through this phase and some even have to walk thru burning coals just to find a pipette.
But if you keep asking the right questions and showing them your keen interest, read the stuff that they ask you to, display your initiative and drive or should I say potential, then in a few weeks they would upgrade you to: still a little slow but not stupid. After a few more weeks, you’ll get the hang of things (the lab plus the language and bus issues), and they see that you learn fast, you’ll climb another notch to: not slow and definitely not stupid. And once you’ve settled down and start moving along with your projects and objectives, then they’d all be saying: how the heck have we ever thought that she’s slow and stupid or better: she's one of us now
? And once you’re really up there- experiments working, PI is happy, colleagues are envious and a newbie comes along, I hope that you come back to bioforum and read that very sad piece you wrote above and be reminded....anyhow, goodluck...casandra
Saint Casandra complete with wings and halo.
beautifully said.Nana nanu, now U will have to keep us updated as U pass through these stages.
Saint Cassandra indeed!!
Youre right I will never forget how im feeling right now, when a new person comes I will try to make them feel at home. Although I must say im generally more friendly and good-natured than most people here, theyre all german. Now dont gang up on me for saying this, ive lived in this country for 7 years and ive observed enough to be able to calmly say that yes, they are in fact a) robots 
moody for no reason and scaringly suddenly. On the plus side, the robot thing makes them very efficient. Also, they are not fake. I felt very happy in my old lab, i liked everyone, but as soon as this italian girl came I realized what I had been missing! She was just more.........alive........somehow.
Up there on my wish list right now is a new PhD the sits next to me so that we can exchange project info, protocols, insights, complaints. Everyone really is worried and stressed and associating with me wont really bring them anything so I understand that their time is limited and precious.
I will work on my shortcomings, my fear of failure mostly, and I will see the plus side, this PhD programm that im in is great, it will be great training and if I get fired for some reason........well ill move on and get another position, im here to learn!!!!!!
yeah baby!!!!!!!!!
Youre right I will never forget how im feeling right now, when a new person comes I will try to make them feel at home. Although I must say im generally more friendly and good-natured than most people here, theyre all german. Now dont gang up on me for saying this, ive lived in this country for 7 years and ive observed enough to be able to calmly say that yes, they are in fact a) robots
moody for no reason and scaringly suddenly. On the plus side, the robot thing makes them very efficient. Also, they are not fake. I felt very happy in my old lab, i liked everyone, but as soon as this italian girl came I realized what I had been missing! She was just more.........alive........somehow. Up there on my wish list right now is a new PhD the sits next to me so that we can exchange project info, protocols, insights, complaints. Everyone really is worried and stressed and associating with me wont really bring them anything so I understand that their time is limited and precious.
I will work on my shortcomings, my fear of failure mostly, and I will see the plus side, this PhD programm that im in is great, it will be great training and if I get fired for some reason........well ill move on and get another position, im here to learn!!!!!!
yeah baby!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah and let’s not forget the blue skies too, baby…
now all you need is that cute PhD sitting beside you to share your protocols and what-not. I also feel so much better now. Isn’t this forum great? Goodluck nanu nana…I’m not saying that it would be smooth sailing from now on…heck you haven’t even started yet (wait till your first PCR fails or your cells get contaminated etc)…right now, the important thing is the attitude..you can only wallow in self-pity for a month tops..that’s the rule…now the hard work comes and since you managed to get into a good PhD program, this means you were deemed worthy so you just have to believe in yourself….
Btw…I like how you harshly described the germans…robotic and efficient….but I guess your judgment is a bit coloured, eh?
beautifully said.Nana nanu, now U will have to keep us updated as U pass through these stages.
Yeah BB, I was good eh, wasn’t I
? But that’s me- the shameless self-appointed leader of the bioforum cheer-leading squad. Why couldn’t I get a plaque too?