To marry or not to marry a scientist? - share your thoughts (Aug/31/2008 )
ok, as the majority of us are reaching (or have already passed) the age of marriage, i just want to know how many of you recommend getting married with a person from your own field of science and also with the same degree (PhD, MSc, post doc, lecturer, Prof. etc.)
I am a divorced man, I am 30, and I want to remarry. my ex-wife wasn't from a biology field and honestly we didn't have much problem with the field of work or stuff like that.
This time I just want to think better before getting married.
View from never-ever-married man : Marry the one U love rather than the field and degree. They may change again. (But, I really dunno how it is to be in love - there was a thread on this but I quite haven't understood yet)
Get out - meet someone outside your field and outside of science.
At 30 and once burned - why be in a hurry?
Maybe dont get ahead of yourself, meet someone first, why the hurry/need to get married again ? What is missing from your life that you feel the need to be married ?
But are you presently in love with someone?
Reading your post I had the impression that you are just looking for someone to marry...
Sorry, but I can't understand how one can be in love with marriage itself. If you are not in love with your partner, it's just a contract
Reading your post I had the impression that you are just looking for someone to marry...
Sorry, but I can't understand how one can be in love with marriage itself. If you are not in love with your partner, it's just a contract
in love with marriage!!! .......that was an interesting compliment.
the problem is that I can't live alone anymore. I've been living like this for some years now, I just feel I need someone beside me. you may say find a girlfriend, but it's not like that. for someone like me who has experienced marriage before it's hard to live with a gf for a long time.
My job is also taking so much of my time, and I am workaholic. I work more than 12 hours everyday, up to 15 hrs. It is mainly because I have no reason to come home. I stay in the lab just working and working. I forget the time, I forget the lunch time, I forget that I am hungry. I forget to wash my clothes, I forget to clean the house, I forget to cook, I forget to pay the bills. it is just that I have been very unorganized, and I need someone to be beside me to get me back on track. What I think is only my work and nothing else, and it is not good this way. I am missing other things in life.
that's why I want to get married again, but this time I just want to chose my partner wisely.
Again comment from someone unwise . . ..
Sounds like U are not stable - meaning it is just that U r restless and U need to divert your mind. I am not sure what caused end of your previous relation but if it was again your restlessness then marrying again means spoiling something. It will not last again. After sometime of feeling free from science, you will again start liking science and spend more time in science and give less time to wife/life. That will give not so good time for your wife and she will regret she ever married U and again it will be end of another relation . . then cycle repeats.
Take care of yourself first and then decide what U want to do next. Give science and yourself a break . . look around, may be life is pleasant without a wife. I am also not married and no relation of any kind yet (even casual friends are soooo few) because before U start any relation U should be able to give your commitment. That I don't see in U.
I think girls here can better say what it is in reality because I may be totally wrong like Wives of my friends are totally understanding . . .
Sorry again, if I sound rude, but...if you are so upside-down and your life is so poor in satisfactions, what are you going to offer to your wife or to your girlfriend?
i'd say "get a pet", it would remind you to feed it and you could take it for a walk (not necessarily romantic) but i'm not sure if you could handle a dog. there's this movie with sandra bullock i think, they recommend, first get a plant, if it survives you can get a pet, if your pet survives then you could start dating someone.
why don't you get a tamagotchi first? 
Haha, thats a nice idea. But, one of my friends here got his cat trained so that she can take her food out of the box herself when he is on duty. 
And, my little cousin sister has her virtual pet. . . she is soooooo busy (with her school homeworks) that me (doing PhD) has to find time to take care of the dog for her 
http://www.webkinz.com/us_en/ Here is the site. Recommended for all wishing to do PhD who has a little crazy and busy cousin sister.