research phrases...and what they mean - old but still up-to-date (Mar/15/2007 )

Known since 1957 (C. B. Graham Jr., Metal Progress, 1957), but perhaps new for you, at least helpful for reading/writing and funny...

• "A definite trend is evident…” > These data are practically meaningless.
• “Of great theoretical and practical importance…” > Interesting to me.
• “While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions…” > This was an unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
• “Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study.” > The others made no sense.
• “Typical results are shown.” > The best results are shown.
• “The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones.” He was my graduate assistant.
• “It is believed that…” > I think.
• “It is generally believed that…” > A couple of other guys think so, too.
• “It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon is possible.” > I don’t understand it.
• “Correct within an order of magnitude.” > Wrong.
• “It is hoped that this study willstimulate more work in this field.” > This is a lousy paper, but so are the others on this miserable topic.
• “Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experimental work and to George Frink for valuable discussions.” > Blotz did the work, and Frink explained to me what it meant.
• “A careful analysis of obtainable data…” > Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
• “A statistically oriented projection of the findings…” > Wild guess.
• “A highly significant area for exploratory study…” > A totally useless topic suggested by my committee.

i love them

Nice ones. truly scientific !!!!

How did you get a copy of my thesis?

Pretty cool but let me add three more twists:

We are embarking on a collaborative project > where you do all the work and I take all the credit…<

Thank you for submitting a manuscript of your highly innovative, groundbreaking work unfortunately the subject is beyond the scope of this journal >What a trash! How dare you submit it to us?<

Study design: a retrospective study of 10,000 patients treated with…….<since I am a doctor and have no time nor inclination to do lab work, I’m happy to do analysis of records dug by the secretaries from the archives and then use fancy statistics to produce significant results<

BTW Hobglobin, whatever happened to the bug-eating thingy avatar? Who's the new dude, that ain't Che with a new hairstyle?

Pretty cool but let me add three more twists:

We are embarking on a collaborative project > where you do all the work and I take all the credit…<

Thank you for submitting a manuscript of your highly innovative, groundbreaking work unfortunately the subject is beyond the scope of this journal >What a trash! How dare you submit it to us?<

Study design: a retrospective study of 10,000 patients treated with…….<since I am a doctor and have no time nor inclination to do lab work, I'm happy to do analysis of records from the archives dug by the secretaries and then use fancy statistics to produce significant results<

BTW Hobglobin, whatever happened to the bug-eating thingy avatar? Who's the new dude, that ain't Che with a new hairstyle?

• It has long been known that... > I haven't bothered to look up the original reference.
• High-purity/Very high purity/Extremely high purity... > Composition unknown except for the exaggerated claims of the supplier.
• ...accidentally strained during mounting > ...dropped on the floor.
• ...handled with extreme care throughout the experiments > ...not dropped on the floor.
• Although some detail has been lost in reproduction, it is clear from the original micrograph that... > It is impossible to tell from the micrograph.
• Presumably at longer times... > I didn't take time to find out.
• It might be argued that... > I have such a good answer to this objection that I shall now raise it.
• Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated... > Neither does anybody else.

So cool
OOOPS, I used a lot of them in my publications

QUOTE (hobglobin @ Mar 16 2007, 07:31 AM)

[/list]BTW: Variatio delectat.

And to that I say Nunc est bibendum and at first I thought that you were telling us the latin name of that thingy thing