need your encouregment - (May/17/2007 )

hello all
i am feeling down these days ..... need some encouregment.
my sitiuation is soo difficult i know but i am trying my best really , i am a mother and a wife and a phd student, i also shifted my major into another totally new one to do my phd as my major is not found here.
it took my some time to really do the shift , first shift is the culture shift into japanese culture and the second shift is in my major studying, i am doing techniques i have never done before but i am learning soo fast .
the problem is there is always small mistakes i make that can alter my expeirement, i fix them and dont repeat them again but then i found new mistakes.......just tired of this endless circle....
this is the beginning of my second year and i have got some data but not enough so i am really really doing my best ,the problem is in my professor , he is very pushy, his comments are always always depressive .. all what he cares about is the paper not learning how to do it.....
everyday i got up saying to myself TRY TRY TRY AGAIN....

Dear Spanishflower, I know how difficult is your situation. If this phD is really important to you please hold on!

I advice you take the things your professor says to improve yourself. professors always care about papers and never students. Do not ever take his comments personally. please. he does not care to hurt you but he thinks that this is the best way to push you in order to get the paper published. but also if publishing in high quality journal is not important to you, please mention this to your professor so that his demands also diminish. wishing you all the best! please hold on!

Dear Spanishflower,

you are not alone, it's quite normal not to have enough results the first year. What is important is to improve, you make mistake, you understand why, what's wrong and how it works. Do you think you would be a good PhD if every thing would work at once and you don't know why? How would you train people?
It seems you will be a good PhD. You try to understand your mistakes, you understand what is important and what is not important for an experiment. You will improve.

About your professor :
at least he cares about your results.
I know some professors that doesn't care. They will soon be retired, they prefer to do some politics than to publish. This is really bad for the students.
Listen to him. Be brave, you will manage.

All the best
Missele

Dear spanishflower,
always remember that in our lives we have ups and downs...
it is a circle,once you are in a down phase the up phase is comming
be patient...
may God help you

Getting adapted to new environment while handling your research work can be really troublesome. Understand that.
Talk to people,, discuss with your husband.
Discuss with your supervisor, what you dont like about him. Of course in a nice manner though.

dear spanishflower
i just feel that you wrote this mail on behalf of me. i am in the same situation like you........new married life, .new environment, new people, new lab and finally a new subject. and everybody doesnt want to teach a phd student in detailssssss. so its takes time to get good result without any mistakes.
but be patient........just do your work, hope you will get the situation better soon.

Dearest spanishflower,

you are not alone...
we all face the same problem like you do... me too. when i just started to do my post-grad, my experiment failed many many times. only it comes out with nothing, i got some other problems (really unlucky) problems that slow down my progress... such as my isolates didn't work like other peoples isolates and the manual in the kit that i purchased has some printing error... i keep on repeating, but no result as the cells number stated in the manual was wrong!!! i wasted times and samples....
my supervisor is a very strict and demanding person... my life was so miserable then...
sometimes, life is just like that... when you pass through that darkest period in your research life, your experiment will go on smoothly... like i did.
there will be sunshine after rain...
good luck and all the best!

Cheer up spanishflower, things will go fine for you.
You are working hard and improving, be patient, a better time will come

Wish you all the best :*

Hi spanishflower,

Don't worry. You are not alone.
I am also having serious problem with my PI, in terms of cultural differences, expectation, money.

Keep going...try your very best...just treat this as a learning experience.

I know you will survive. Just believe in yourself.

After PhD, you will have a brighter and better future. I keep telling myself about it.


Hope this may help.

Thank you all for all your support, i really appreciate it.
i am still holding on but my real problem is i am working under stress and is very very difficult to feel that no matter what you do or how hard you are trying , if something goes wrong i will judjed as a failure although i dont feel like one , i know that phd period is for learing and i am already 4 years back than others here because i changed my major ....
thankx again